Forgive us when we cock things up

From the “You couldn’t make this shit up” department:

This story from the Romford Recorder is just too precious retarded:

A PEARLY Queen’s Cockey slang version of the Lord’s Prayer recited during a formal council meeting has sparked an official complaint.

The modern interpretation of the prayer was brought to the Town Hall by the Pearly Queen of The Old Kent Road, Doreen Golding, who was invited by Havering Mayor Georgina Galpin.

The Pearly Queen, dressed in her traditional outfit, joined the 52 members of Havering Council and several officers and opened the Full Council Meeting on Wednesday, October 17, with her cockney rhyming slang-ridden version of the Lord’s Prayer.

The prayer, recited daily by thousands of Christians, was converted to include the phrases “ave a butchers” (look), and “give us some Uncle Fred” (bread), colloquial terms and abbreviated words.

What the story fails to report is to whether it was up-their-own-arse christians, non-christian theists or non-theists who made the complaint. It it was made by christians, I would then ask them if they would make the same complaint if it were made in, say, Latin? Somehow, I doubt that they’d be so black-affronted if it were. Or would it be that they might imagine that their god is offended by supplications ululated in anything other than King James’ English?

Not that I advocate any kind of special religious representation in government, even local government, but while it’s allowed (or at least tolerated) in the UK, then at least give each their own chance to chant their respective mumbo-jumbo in their own way, and then get down to the business of reality.

The full story, and full version of the prayer, are available in this week’s Recorder, which I don’t have a copy of and am not in a position to pop to the newsagent’s to get, although I do know plenty of people in that neck of the woods, so I’ll put the feelers out to see if one of them could ‘ave a butchers on my behalf.

Lahverly.

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