Kansas Outlaws Practice Of Evolution

2 September 2008  

TOPEKA, KS—In response to a Nov. 7 referendum, Kansas lawmakers passed emergency legislation outlawing evolution, the highly controversial process responsible for the development and diversity of species and the continued survival of all life.

“From now on, the streets, forests, plains, and rivers of Kansas will be safe from the godless practice of evolution, and species will be able to procreate without deviating from God’s intended design,” said Bob Bethell, a member of the state House of Representatives. “This is about protecting the integrity of all creation.”

The sweeping new law prohibits all living beings within state borders from being born with random genetic mutations that could make them better suited to evade predators, secure a mate, or, adapt to a changing environment. In addition, it bars any sexual reproduction, battles for survival, or instances of pure happenstance that might lead, after several generations, to a more well-adapted species or subspecies.

Source: The Onion

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Comments

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2 Responses to “Kansas Outlaws Practice Of Evolution”

  1. Honjii on September 7th, 2008 11:48 pm

    Humans have nothing to worry about as we seem to be de-volving which still seems perfectly legal..and rampant.

  2. James on September 18th, 2008 4:34 am

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There's probably no god.  Now stop worrying and enjoy your life.