Quantum Jumping

It looks like Deepak Chopra doesn’t actually have the monopoly in misappropriating the word “quantum” and applying it to woo.

Now there’s something called “Quantum Jumping“. (The Google search link is there because I refuse to give wingnuts ad revenue directly).

“What’s Quantum Jumping?”, I hear you ask. Thankfully, they’ve kindly explained it for us (for certain definitions of the word “explain”)…:

Quantum Jumping is the process of jumping into parallel dimensions, and gaining creativity, knowledge, wisdom, skills and inspiration from alternate versions of yourself.

This happens through a phenomenon known as “thought transference.” You see, although the solidity of our world seems indisputable, Quantum Theory suggests that our physical reality is nothing but a very elaborate mirage. A super-hologram of information and energy. A Matrix.

The chair you’re sitting on, your computer, your house, your car, everything that exists around you, is an illusion.

So then how do we see, touch, feel, and smell the things that surround us if none of it really exists?

The answer is that all physical matter is the result of particles vibrating at a certain frequency. A frequency that if you alter, change or amplify in any way, you change your physical and current reality.

We all know from physics class that if you increase the vibrational frequency of water particles through heat energy, you create steam and if you slow them down by removing heat energy, you create ice. And just like heat, our thoughts too are energy.

Emphasis as original.

This astounding knowledge can be yours, for the low-low price of the surrender of your faculties to vacuous crap. Oh, and most likely a lifetime of spam in your inbox.

Don’t forget to thank my other selves in those parallel universes. If they’re anything like me, at least one of them is bound to like a decent cup of coffee.