It’s *still* a fucking cracker, or how some catholics are just fucking arseholes
The Stupid. It Burns.
Image from Plognark
Seriously, you cannibalistic-ritualising cracker-loving catholic wingnuts need to get a life. A real life. Not an airy-fairy supernatural afterlife. Not a dancing with Jesus afterlife. Not a virgin worshipping magical afterlife.
A real fucking life.
I’m not a big fan of ER’s ‘theistard’ appellation, but in this case I’m more than happy to use it.
/hattip: Atheist Blogger
Pretend ‘mass’ kits for catholic kids
I kid you not (no pun intended). Fisher Price didn’t even get a look-in.
Cult toys for Kool Kidz
My Mass Kit is the flagship product in the Wee Believers™1 Catholic toy line. This innovative[!], educational[!] and entertaining[!] soft-sculpture toy is aimed at play for boys ages 3-12. Children will enjoy “playing Mass” using this kit as a part of their playtime activities at home or at school, and in environments such as a church sanctuary where busy-child activity requires solemn attendance.
…
Pieces include: Crucifix, Chalice, Thurible, Finger Bowl, Purificator, 2 Cruets, 2 Candles, Paten, cloth Corporal, and foam Hosts
“Foam”?! What the hell are kids going to do with foam crackers? Just don’t give any to PZ, ok?
What, then, are the features of this “innovative, educational and entertaining toy”? According to their web site, they are:
- Fun way for kids to learn and appreciate the actions and beauty of the Mass [Wow!]
- Certified Quiet™ - no noisy parts to disturb reverent environments [Amazing!]
- 12 cleanable, plush pieces [Golly!]
- Durable canvas carrying case keeps everything organized [Zowie!]
- Personalizable I.D. holder so each kit is your very own [Somethingtastic!]
- Design is approved by Catholic Clergy [Christ on a bike!]
- Ideal teaching manipulative2 for school, catechism and homeschool settings [Ker-pow!]
And all for the absolutely lowlowlow bargain price of only $89.99 (+ $6.50 P+P)!
The catholics really took that old jesuit saying to heart, didn’t they?
I wonder if they’re working on a Stre-e-e-e-etch Jesus… No, this isn’t what I meant!
/hattip: Adult Christianity
Confession Is Good for the Soul (if you think you have one)
Want to get something off your chest? Not a catholic? In Edinburgh between the 11th and 15th August 2008? Then why not pop along to St Patrick’s Church and talk to a real live catholic priest, for free.
No tithing required. All confessions subject to the discretionary whims of the catholic church. Confessions may be recorded for quality and training purposes. No speeding. No diving. No heavy petting. No refunds without a valid receipt. Your ’soul’ may be at risk if you do not keep up repayments.
The Golden Compass: The Abridged Script
AKOTA hides in a closet and watches her uncle, DANIEL CRAIG, interact with a member of the MAGISTERIUM.
DANIEL CRAIG
Oh, the Magisterium. You guys must be the symbol of religion that religious folks are all pissed off about.
SIMON MCBURNEY
Actually, in the movie we’re just a symbol of conformity and blind obedience.
DANIEL CRAIG
Er, so organizations like the Catholic League saw conformity and blind obedience, then decided it must represent their religion?
SIMON MCBURNEY
Yeah. Kinda telling, huh?
DANIEL proceeds to vanish from the movie almost entirely. NICOLE KIDMAN convinces DAKOTA BLUE RICHARDS to live with her without consulting her uncle, which nobody seems to mind.
*chortle*
Read the full thing over at The Editing Room.
Priest-Off® Clergy Repellent
catholic.ie
I’ll say no more.
Except “pwned”.
/hattip The BHA e-bulletin
The Onion: Protests over The Golden Compass
You couldn’t make it up. But they can. :-)
Ratzinger talks (more) bollocks
I was in the pub yesterday, and was made aware that catholic wingnut-in-chief Ratzinger had been bad-mouthing science and atheism by playing the old Marxism=teh evul! card and playing up christianity because it offers “hope”. Earlier today, I saw a few posts on blogs (The Freethinker, Atheist Ethicist - highly recommended) and articles in the press (The Times, Reuters) but none of them actually linked to Darth Benedict’s diatribe.
So, after a bit of googling, I decided to read what he actually wrote.
Unsurprisingly, Ratzinger’s ‘spe salvi‘ is simply an over-long morass of groundless assertions, divinely inspired hate-speech and, of course, a generous sprinkling of cherry-picked bible verses. i.e. the usual bollocks.
I’m guessing that this is the sort of level of being-verbose-about-religion-yet-saying-nothing (which I will now start to call “theonasm” - q.v. pleonasm) that Alister McGrath can only aspire to. Here’s a couple of samples:
Life is not a simple product of laws and the randomness of matter, but within everything and at the same time above everything, there is a personal will, there is a Spirit who in Jesus has revealed himself as Love.
Faith is not merely a personal reaching out towards things to come that are still totally absent: it gives us something. It gives us even now something of the reality we are waiting for, and this present reality constitutes for us a “proof” of the things that are still unseen. Faith draws the future into the present, so that it is no longer simply a “not yet”. The fact that this future exists changes the present; the present is touched by the future reality, and thus the things of the future spill over into those of the present and those of the present into those of the future.
See? Utter bollocks.
“Theonasm”… I like it.
/hattip to that random guy in the pub.
Irony overload
Thrawn has recently received a letter from a catholic looking for a handout. That’s not where the irony lies though. I’ll let a few select quotes from the letter speak for itself.
My name is Sister Patricia Cruise and I run a place called Covenant House - an emergency crisis shelter for abused, abandoned and homeless youth.
…
Our “covenant”, our promise to the kids, is that our doors are always open, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. Any kid - of any faith - is welcome to safety, hot meals, a warm bed and lots of love.
…
So often they need counselling to help them handle the physical and emotional abuse they have survived.
Many, many kids have been molested by relatives and other adults they loved and trusted.
…
But, when these kid flee to the streets… [t]hey find pimps, drug pushers and con artists.
These predators take innocent, scared, hungry kids, and lure them with food and shelter into doing things the kids will regret forever.
Simply amazing. I can only presume that the catholic parish-hopping paedophile priests are not only hidden from the general public, but from those already deeply entrenched in the catholic system too.
Either that, or this woman is seriously deluded.
No, wait a minute…
All Roman Catholics Go To Heaven
A little photoshoppage of this image from irReligion.org
BBC: I’m Jesus, Fly Me!
A Catholic worker at Manchester Airport was suspended after hanging an image of Jesus on a staff room wall.
Gareth Langmead, 40, was sent home from his job as a car parks supervisor after a complaint from a Muslim colleague.
He was off work for three days while an investigation was carried out and later reinstated with a clean record.
Union officials accused the airport of overreacting and said Mr Langmead was upset by the incident, but the airport said he had not complained.
The airport worker, from Atherton, Greater Manchester, found the image of the Sacred Heart of Jesus as he was clearing out a desk drawer.
As he felt unable to throw it away, Mr Langmead hung it on a wall in the staff rest room, prompting a complaint it had been put up as “an act of provocation”.
[H]e felt unable to throw it away
? So the optimum solution, rather than taking it home and putting it on one’s own wall, is to decorate one’s (shared) workplace? I disagree with the muslim’s complaint of it being an act of provocation
(you know how sensitive ’some people’ can be).
Perhaps we should be grateful that muslims, although they can bitch about christians hanging up their sectarian propoganda everywhere, are unlikely to start fly-posting tableaux of Mohammed all over the shop.
Langmead has since been reinstated without prejudice. I expect the airport authorities got rid of the picture, or perhaps told him to take it home, where it belongs.
One for UK catholics, perhaps?
Perhaps with the slogan “BANG! And the sin is gone!”…
BBC: Nun fight!
Really, you couldn’t make it up! Here’s a strange one, courtesy of those crazy Italian catholics:
A convent in Italy is being shut down after a fight between its last three remaining nuns.
So badly did relations deteriorate between the sisters of Santa Clara in Bari that the Mother Superior ended up in hospital with scratches to her face.
Now the local archbishop has intervened and asked the Vatican for permission to close the convent.
But Sister Liliana, the only nun still there, says she has no intention of leaving her home of the past 44 years.
The Clarissa nuns are regarded as the most austere order of the Roman Catholic Church, devoted to a life of prayer, penance and quiet contemplation.
But at the Santa Clara convent in Bari, the vow of silence was shattered by an unholy row.
Sisters Annamaria and Gianbattista say they were driven to distraction by the nasty habits of their Mother Superior.
They became so angry that during the summer, they turned on Sister Liliana scratching her face and throwing her to the ground.
So much for superior (haha!) morality.
Read the whole thing over at the BBC.
BBC: Condoms the cause of AIDS - catholic bishop
It’s amazing the lengths that some will go to to promote their own agenda, particularly when that agenda is a religious one, and especially when the claim made is so egregious and outrageous a lie.
I’m talking about archbishop Francisco Chimoio, head of the catholic church in Mozambique, who has claimed that some European-made condoms have been deliberately infected with the AIDS virus in order to finish quickly the African people
.
It’s difficult enough for African HIV/AIDS campaigners to attempt to fight the catholics in educating people to use condoms normally, without this sort of loathsome and abhorrent fiction to further confuse those who most desperately need help.
I have no idea as to what this imbecile’s motive was for making such a retarded claim. Perhaps this is now the official line from the Vatican, or perhaps it’s just a really stupid idea of his own making. Whatever the motivation, the world of sexual health professionals should be jumping down the throat, wearing rather large hobnail boots, of those that champion stupidity of this magnitude.
Needless to say, I’m sure this cretin has absolutely no evidence whatsoever to back up this idiocy, just like he has none to back up his god-claims.
Complete article over at the BBC
Special treatment for catholics?
As reported in The Independent on Sunday on 21 January 2007, the news that the catholic church is pressing the British government to allow an exeption to the recently passed anti-discrimination law regarding sexuality has reached the mainstream media (BBC, The Times).
At the moment, only Ruth Kelly and the prime minister, Tony Blair, are supportive of the catholics’ attempt to change the law to their own demands. Kelly is a known catholic, and Blair is a catholic supporter (his wife, Cherie Booth, is a catholic) and has had meetings with both the currrent pope and his predecessor. Blair, it is thought, is expected to convert to catholicism after he leaves government office.
As I noted previously, Ruth Kelly, the Secretary of State for Communities, is hardly the best person to represent those who are discriminated against, especially considering that she a) is a strict catholic (and probably a member of Opus Dei); b) has abstained from every single major vote on homosexual rights.
Today I learned that, not only is the government considering relenting to the demands of the catholics to allow them (and only them) to legally express their bigotry but, that this government is attempting to subvert the welfare support system by actively promoting religious-welfare programmes (source: DWP).
So, what does this mean?
At the moment, the catholics are attempting to get an exemption to anti-discrimination legislation, which would allow them to refuse to accept adoption requests from homosexual couples.
The Department of Work and Pensions is aiming to promote religious supply of more mainstream welfare services (of which adoption is already one) such as support for the homeless, etc.
Mr Murphy announced he was hosting a national seminar in the coming weeks that will bring together faith organisations of all persuasions to discuss how they could contribute further to the welfare state and what more the Government can do to facilitate this.DWP press release
If this exemption goes through, and the government funds religious groups to offer state-sponsored welfare programmes, what is to stop the catholic church (or any other church) from further demanding extra exemptions for these programmes? The precedent would already have been set, and it would be more difficult (legally) to turn back the clock.
What this would amount to would be the Vatican dictating public policy, determining how the welfare infrastructure of Britain would be run. It would also allow for any special interest group to assert that they too are also eligible for special treatment.
I fear having our government policy, and hence our legal, economic and welfare systems being dictated to from the Vatican or by the whims of any other group. If I wanted to live in a theocracy, I’d move to one.
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