Do you work in fire & rescue in Scotland?

22 January 2009 · 12 Comments 
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If you work in the Fire and Rescue Service in Scotland (especially in Strathclyde Fire and Rescue) this table is an easy to read chart of who you are expected to provide fire and rescue safety information to during the course of your employment.

Note: This chart doesn’t include other fire and rescue services (firefighting, rescue, emergency medical provision, etc.) for which you have been trained and may be expected to provide, but may not be exempt.

Section of society You are:
a non-christian a christian1
Gender groups
males yes yes2
females yes yes2
Age groups
children yes yes2
teenagers yes yes2
adults yes yes2
the elderly yes yes2
Ability groups
able-bodied yes yes2
disabled yes yes2
Racial groups
ethnic majorities yes yes2
ethnic minorities yes yes2
Sexual preference groups
not sexually active yes yes2
heterosexual yes yes2
homosexual yes no3
bisexual yes no3

Notes

1. Exemption may apply to those of other religious traditions or belief systems. See your local diversity team or watch leader for clarification.

2. Unless this contradicts your personal religious principles, in which case you are exempt from giving a shit if this section of the population dies due to inadequate safety knowledge because you’re a fucking bigot, but nobody can do anything about it because you’re safe in the knowledge that a precedent has been set and you won’t have to do your job.

3. An employment tribunal case has already been settled excusing you from working if you hate these people (or, if you prefer to say you don’t actually hate them as people but only what they get up to in the privacy of their own homes which you might have to enter one day in an emergency) and won’t be expected to do your job.

/hattip: The Freethinker

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There's probably no god. Now stop worrying and enjoy your life.