Pretend ‘mass’ kits for catholic kids

3 December 2008 · Comments 

I kid you not (no pun intended). Fisher Price didn’t even get a look-in.

Cult toys for Kool Kidz

Cult toys for Kool Kidz

My Mass Kit is the flagship product in the Wee Believers™1 Catholic toy line. This innovative[!], educational[!] and entertaining[!] soft-sculpture toy is aimed at play for boys ages 3-12. Children will enjoy “playing Mass” using this kit as a part of their playtime activities at home or at school, and in environments such as a church sanctuary where busy-child activity requires solemn attendance.

…

Pieces include: Crucifix, Chalice, Thurible, Finger Bowl, Purificator, 2 Cruets, 2 Candles, Paten, cloth Corporal, and foam Hosts

“Foam”?! What the hell are kids going to do with foam crackers? Just don’t give any to PZ, ok?

What, then, are the features of this “innovative, educational and entertaining toy”? According to their web site, they are:

  • Fun way for kids to learn and appreciate the actions and beauty of the Mass [Wow!]
  • Certified Quiet™ - no noisy parts to disturb reverent environments [Amazing!]
  • 12 cleanable, plush pieces [Golly!]
  • Durable canvas carrying case keeps everything organized [Zowie!]
  • Personalizable I.D. holder so each kit is your very own [Somethingtastic!]
  • Design is approved by Catholic Clergy [Christ on a bike!]
  • Ideal teaching manipulative2 for school, catechism and homeschool settings [Ker-pow!]

And all for the absolutely lowlowlow bargain price of only $89.99 (+ $6.50 P+P)!

The catholics really took that old jesuit saying to heart, didn’t they?

I wonder if they’re working on a Stre-e-e-e-etch Jesus… No, this isn’t what I meant!

/hattip: Adult Christianity

  1. seriously? [↩]
  2. shouldn’t that be “manipulation”? [↩]

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I’m In An Open Relationship With The Lord

27 September 2007 · Comments 

It all started when I was 16 and first asked Jesus to enter my heart. It was incredible. He filled me up with His love. I’d never been redeemed before, but with Jesus it felt so right, as if the sins of the world had been lifted off my shoulders. For a while there, we were communing via the sacraments several times a week! And every night we spent what seemed like hours in long, mutually satisfying sessions of prayer. I worshipped Him.

Soon the honeymoon period ended, however. Whenever I spoke to Him, He seemed distracted and distant—sometimes I wondered if He was listening at all. Daily devotionals felt like we were just going through the motions of repetitive, meaningless dogma. A few months later, I made a potentially disastrous discovery: I found out I wasn’t the only one He was sanctifying.

I’m In An Open Relationship With The Lord

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